Christmas means one thing: TRIFECTA is upon us

If you have ever had the pleasure of being in my presence between October and January, you probably know that I LOVE CHRISTMAS. And not just the normal amount. Because my birthday is the day before, I take it upon myself to be the face of this spirited holiday. If I were ever to create my own PSA, it would be to let kids know that Santa doesn't go to houses with fake trees, and to not allow this kind of behavior from their parents. I am more passionate in my war against fake trees than I am against Applebee's or hashtagging on Facebook or mayonnaise-based salad dressings. And I don't settle for just any Christmas tree. GIANT Christmas trees. This fiery passion resulted in a lot of unnecessary pain for my parents on the rare occasion that they allowed me to pick out the tree, because of course I chose some monstrosity of a tree that were known to break tree stands and be tied to the wall. Not sorry.

I've always enjoyed having a holiday birthday. I've never had to work on my birthday (except for one year, and I still refuse to go to Maggiano's for that reason. How dare they.) It's easy to get wrapped up and assume all the decorations, lights and gifts are in honor of your birth. I could do with out the ever popular "So do you get ripped off with presents and people just give you one?" As if! You obviously don't know me if you ever think I would settle for a split birthday/Christmas present. And if you don't know me, then why are you talking to me? The greatest birthday tradition coming on its 3rd annual is without a doubt TRIFECTA. Trifecta is the birthday celebration with @mrunyon86 (DOB 12/23), @lizsassypants (DOB 12/24) and @Jesus_M_Christ (DOB 12/25-note, probably not his real Twitter, but I still recommend following.)

Yes, that is Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt. Because I like to party, and I like my Jesus to party too. If you're going to make a fool of yourself on your birthday, there's nothing like having someone else there to share it!

To get in the holiday spirit New York style I dragged @Jvanner1 to Rockefeller Center last night to see them light the tree. And apparently see Justin Beiber? A close second on my list of "Oops..." I've made here, only after getting on the wrong train and ending up in Harlem. We walked off the subway and into what I can only assume would be considered a throng of people. Pretty sure they got rid of all the occupiers because they needed the metal gates to hold back the masses for this event. And I don't even care that I'm about to be that super annoying who judges people that don't live in the city even though I've only lived here oh, 30 days. PEOPLE FROM NEW JERSEY ARE TERRIBLE. The only comparison I have is being front row at Big Boi when he performed at Music Midtown in 2005 the year it rained so hard (I know you remember that).

One delightful woman insisted on loudly suggesting "LET'S KEEP MOVING PEOPLE. TRYING TO WALK HERE. LET'S KEEP MOVING." I politely offered to rip the weave out of her hair and shove it down her throat and see if that made it easier to convey her message, but sadly she wasn't interested. Mother of the Year, who was clearly grooming her 11-year-old daughter to be part of MS-13, continually screamed at her daughter while encouraging her to "Jab your elbow in that bitches side!"

We left shortly after that in an effort to preserve whatever Christmas spirit remained inside me, but these New Jersey housewives were having no part of that. Apparently the smartest way to get what you want is to sacrifice your child, as many of these monsters, I mean "mothers" (head to toe in velour and what had to be Lip Smackers lip gloss), would push strollers into the crowd, simultaneously yelling, "DON'T YOU SEE THERE'S A BABY IN THERE!?" Well lady, this is awkward, but did YOU know that your baby was in there before you ejected it into the mass of pedestrians?

However, once we escaped Basketball Wives: Holiday Edition, we found ourselves walking down 5th Avenue, and came upon The Plaza. When I saw the street, lined with glittery, glamorous stores, giant wreaths and Christmas lights covering every possibly surface, I finally understood what people meant when they said there is nothing like New York City during the holidays.

**Update: I teared up walking down the street tonight because there are lights on everything and every street corner smells like Christmas trees (when it doesn't smell like falafel). Christmas spirit is officially restored.